It was a busy day at work, just before lunchtime. My desk was scattered. I had papers, reports, and two laptop computers; work computer and personal computer, thrown across my desk. With an intent to run outside quickly and grab food, I left everything in a messy state.
Upon my return something felt odd. My personal computer (MacBook Pro) was missing. At first I thought it was hiding underneath mounds of paper. But after a desperate search, it was nowhere to be found. “Okay Craig, don’t panic, it must be here somewhere. You were just using it. It couldn’t have walked off,” I repeated over and over. However, it wasn’t long before I realized that the unthinkable had happened. My personal computer, for which I forged a special relationship, had been stolen! I shouted to myself, “Serves you right! It was you who left the door open! You’re just too trusting!”
My mind was racing. I was suffering and getting worse minute by agonizing minute. “My pictures! My movies! I’ll never get them back! I just bought that computer 3 months ago!” And in a predictable fashion, I began to draw conclusions, “I’ll have to buy another one…and spend another $1500? I can’t afford it!” Anger followed, “Who could have taken it? A thief got away with my brand new computer. We must catch him!”
The unease and feeling of victimization was a sure sign that I was misaligned with ACIM’s Mind Training principles I heard so often preached. I took a deep breath and went outside.
Like a movie, I watched my thoughts play across the screen of the Mind. I felt the emotions. Yet without explanation I still had an awareness that both the thoughts and feelings were not me. Because I was aware of them, I had some distance. And in that moment I FELT the teaching from A Course in Miracles speak to me…
The betrayal of the Son of God lies only in illusions, and all his ‘sins’ are but his own imagining. A Course in Miracles (T-17.I.1)
Something from within was reminding me that the experience of loss and attack is an illusion. With an aim for peace and NOTHING else, I asked to see the situation differently. I asked for a miracle. And then, the ‘Holy Instant’ came and I could see my two choices: 1) EITHER go down the road of sufferer where ‘story’ would be my reality, 2) OR Truth and accept the immediacy of the correction (atonement). I dared to stay with the definition-less awareness the Holy Spirit called me to. I knew the bait of ‘story’, woven of a lifeless past, was no longer an option I could take.
There I stood, without conclusions or assumptions about the future, and without a belief in the past. As the Course would teach – What wasn’t in my experience (i.e. the theft of my computer) wasn’t needed. That was obvious to me now. I felt peace.
From this viewpoint all the mind chatter and stories appeared dead by comparison to the present aliveness that was not dependent on circumstance. I was free. The idea of THINGS no longer mattered.
I went back to the office with a smile on my face. Nothing could waiver the present joy of being unaffected by the concept of possessions. I went on with my work as guided.
A few hours later, I got a call from the Loss Prevention Department in the building. Someone (I never found out who and I didn’t care) turned in the computer. Whoever had taken it left it at an elevator bank where an associate in the building found it and turned it in. At first, I didn’t know what the officer was talking about…it was as if I had amnesia and forgot I was missing a computer. Then remembering, I teared up. I felt as if the whole situation was a testament to the change in the Mind. This was a Miracle!
That said, however; the miracle wasn’t that I got my computer back, it was the shift in my experience and perceived identity. Perception went from seeing myself as little and separate to whole and complete. The fact that I got my computer back was just an unexpected bonus to the lesson I had learned. The world of form comes and goes, that is its nature. But WE are not form, we are SPIRIT; extensions of God (Love)…incapable of loss and vulnerability.
Love you, Craig
Craig Villarrubia: Answering a call to Truth, Craig is devoted to Spiritual Awakening. With a willingness to undo the false perception of separation, his life is dedicated only to what’s Real – Love.
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