Think about that word – Fear. I fear snakes and maybe you do too. How about spiders, the boogie man under your bed, elevators, heights, people, the dark?

scary treeThis is not the fear I want to talk about today. I want to talk about the siblings of FEAR or the sub-fears that hide in the murky depths of the subconscious. Maybe you’ve heard of them – resentment, jealousy, anger, unworthiness, insecurity, shame, mistrust, judgment, victim…the list goes on and on.

Picture a large tree and name it FEAR. That’s the general or basic FEAR and includes creepy things like snakes and spiders. Then picture its many branches protruding from its massive trunk. These branches are the sub-fears or siblings of FEAR I was referring to earlier. Each branch has a name and with that name is a feeling, a very bad feeling. Take shame. Thoughts of shame; your body slumps, your mouth curves downward, its darkness squeezes out your light…it’s painful. And its opposite? – self-respect; shoulders up, body erect, and your strength returns.

We never think of FEAR and feelings of shame in the same context but they are directly connected. Like our tree analogy we humans are standing in the shade of our own fear branches. I could say it’s not a big deal but I would be lying. It’s a huge deal. Why? Because all humans are searching for LOVE. And you will not find L-O-V-E if you have F-E-A-R. That’s worth repeating. You will not find LOVE if you have FEAR.

Read my writing on the subject of Love & Fear: http://undoingjoey.com/got-fear/

An old Cherokee told his Grandson, ‘My son, there is a battle between two Wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.’ The boy thought about it and asked, ‘Grandfather, which Wolf wins?’ The old man quietly replied, ‘The one you feed.’ – author unknown


Mentally step back and observe your life. Looking backwards is helpful to pinpoint and understand the sub-fear theme that permeated your past with friends, family, and intimate relationships, in work and at play. At first it might not be obvious. Why? Because we humans feel an effect and find ways to justify its cause. Example: He treated me badly, so I’m right to feel this way. No judgment. We all do it. Again, it’s a human thing.

Finding out that resentment was and still is your sub-fear theme will likely surprise you. I’m remembering the day I identified unworthiness as my sub-fear theme. It was shocking. I cried to myself, Not self-assured confident me! Though it was true…and I could no longer deny it.

Are you looking for LOVE? It’s a silly question. I know you’re looking for LOVE. I found it and now I want to help you find it too.

You commit. I commit. = Results and L-O-V-E!

Love,
Patricia

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