It’s true, I’m not who I was. It’s a good thing, right?
Well yes, for me it means progress on this treacherous nail-biting and often frustrating; ‘cuz it seems to never end, single lane path toward undoing my ego self! But for those from my past; who were comfortable with the old troubled me, it’s not a good thing.
When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings! Dean Jackson
Oh, it’s easier to blame them; ‘they don’t get me…they never got me!’ Or to stay far away and then, well, it won’t matter what they think. Thoughts of the ego mind! At the end of the day; pointing fingers, ignoring, or burying the thoughts deep won’t work. Let me explain.
Real forgiveness, the kind of forgiveness I learned from A Course in Miracles works if you are truly committed to the rigorous pursuit of ‘Know Thyself’/‘An Examined Life’ (Plato and Socrates – thanks). Gaining self-awareness comes as a result of incrementally confronting each morsel of misguided thinking as soon as it presents itself. So okay, let’s look at that thought again, ‘They don’t get me’. You can run with it and continue to feel bad or you can say, ‘Vale, (Okay) I see it’. All those niggling perceptions and beliefs; you know the ones, right? Look, they’re being projected on the movie screen in front of your face. Here’s your chance to identify them. Do it. And then forgive. (Go to the Lessons on Undoing to read about real forgiveness and how to do it.)
This is my first point. If the mind created a perception/a belief then forgiveness must also happen in the mind to be completely exorcised. Oh, I could forgive each of the people who played a role and who ended up projecting onto my movie screen, yes I could. Or, I could let those ego thoughts just ‘be’, believing it’s easier to let them alone to fester in the deep well of the sub-conscious mind…and change nothing perhaps. Who would know might be my thinking?
And the second point. Well, forgiveness is about undoing our identification with the ego thought system…not about changes in the world and the people who inhabit it. It’s a nice gesture to forgive them, we are blaming them for our pain after all, but it changes nothing in the mind except guarantees the thought, ‘They don’t get me’ will surface again for the umpteenth time. Simply put…forgiveness involves undoing the pain in our own mind; which is the same as undoing the ego since the ego thought system attaches to the pain for its survival.
All relationships can heal, oh, maybe not overnight, but if you commit to the practice of real forgiveness the need to retreat will diminish and eventually be replaced with outstretched arms. Try it please. Be your own witness to change. Maybe little glimmers of change in the beginning, yes it might take more work than you expected, but then Wham! CHANGE…it’s a good thing.
Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. A Course in Miracles
Te quiero. Joey