We had come full circle and returned to Paris. Lauren, Savannah and I were sitting together enjoying an early dinner at a bistro in the 6th arrondissement when Lauren asked me a curious question. “Joey I was wondering, what is it like for you to sit having dinner in this lovely French restaurant just a few short blocks from the streets you once called home?” I had to think for a moment before answering.
The reality of living on the streets is there in my mind, but it seems further away than six weeks. Is it possible to retrace my steps exactly? The answer is probably ‘no’. I have climbed very far up the ladder of awareness, and I think too far to return to the streets as the old Joey, but I will know for sure when I return this evening.” Lauren asked, “Do you fear the streets will seduce you and lure you back?” Adamant, I exclaimed, “No way!”
The next morning I was sitting having coffee with Savannah and sharing with her my story from the night before. “When I left you and Lauren at the bistro, I went to see if my street friends were still hanging out on the same corner. They were. As I approached, the observer (me) saw only brothers and sisters standing there. No judgment. I honestly did not notice their appearance – I felt their hearts. Before I met you; homeless like them, the air was thick with sadness, so thick you could almost hold it in your hands. It makes sense now why drugs are so prevalent, everyone is numbing their sadness. I wanted to pick them all up and put them in my pocket, keep them safe from harm. Savannah, I was seeing them with different eyes!”
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “What a transformation in six short weeks! The ego is no longer that shiny object distracting you from the truth. You are seeing it for what it truly is; unreal and valueless.”
The fused afternoon sunlight was coming through the sheers covering the floor-to-ceiling windows of the Paris apartment and hitting the coffee table just right, the ambience seemed staged; I laughed at myself as I looked around the room for the lighting engineer. Our last day together and the three of us were gathering to catch our breath and indulge in some ‘just us’ time for our final review. I took a seat near the window and waited for my friends to join me.
I leaned my head against the soft fabric of the chair and closed my eyes. A lump appeared in my throat as I nostalgically recalled little memories of our days together. Three separate and unique individuals had become like a flock of birds flying in synchronistic ease through the sky; bending and turning as one mind. And that was the last thought I had when I felt my body relax to almost limp and my mind drift off to some other place – I went with it. ‘Living in the fullness of God’ was the seventh and final stage in a series of ‘Stages of Awareness’ Savannah had assigned to me. The words weren’t easy to write because I had not reached that awareness yet, but after deep contemplation I wrote about a memory between my mother and me. As I sat in that meditative state the words from my journal occupied my mind once again but this time they morphed into a scene from a movie on my mental screen.
Lying next to my mother near the end of her life, she would reminisce about my birth and tell me how I glowed when she first saw me. (While I got cozy with the loving memory of my mother I had an Experience and it went something like this.) I knew the room was full of infants but their bodies didn’t appear to me, no crying, no cooing, just a knowing. The room filled with light so intense my body had been consumed by it; all that was left of me was – my mind. The words ‘Prisms of God’s Light’ appeared in the scene and I knew my mother’s words were true; I glowed when she first saw me. We all glow when we come into the world because we are pure with the love and light of God; Prisms of God’s Light!
Hearing footsteps approaching from my right brought my mind back to the apartment and the Experience faded from view.
Sad how that much awaited moment of a baby’s birth is forgotten so quickly. And sad how the distorted perceptions and conditional beliefs find their way to us; like metal shavings to a magnet, and cling there for the rest of our days. Living in the ‘fullness of God’ is my natural state, I was born that way. I glowed with the light of God. I know because my mother said so. The dark clouds blocking the light and warmth of God are a result of my thinking and are only temporary. Why? The process of undoing has begun!
(Recommendation: Read Writings: Nothing real exists here! & Vertical Ascension!)
Te quiero. Joey